Eating for me is a necessity to stay alive and not eating has nothing that I can identify to do with appearance. However, I don't own scales because I figured it was a bad idea for someone highly susceptible to developing a neurological eating disorder to have a tool around the house that could allow me to become obsessive about my weight.
I kind of just have bad periods and managing periods. Sometimes I'm as good as I can be, for me and other times I cant cope with more than three cups of tea a day.
Anyway the past few weeks I've been going through a bad one and everything I tried to eat made me feel very sick. I checked myself out on my boyfriends scales and saw I'd dropped to bellow 6 stone. Usually I manage to maintain an all mighty 6 1/2. It's no where near as much as it should be but I figure if I'm not getting worse, then I'm doing OK. When it drops below, warning bells start ringing.
Unusually, I woke up yesterday feeling ravenously hungry. The more I ate the more often I felt hungry again... So I Kept eating. This morning I was pretty much the same Sx I plan to really take advantage of this and try to get up to 7 stone or something. I already felt pregnant with a food baby last night which is a very unusual feeling. It's like I've been smoking loads of weed. - I haven't but I've never had a high quite this extreme before. I know my body is crying out for nutrients because I've felt my eyesight deteriorating with a lack of vit A and little cuts and bruises don't heal etc... I'm as lethargic as usual and probably very anemic. It's a mystery how I keep going but I guess its youth. Right now I can cope with it... When I get older I wont be able to continue like this which probably means I shouldn't be continuing like it now.
The Problem with trying to get some kind of help or assistance with the food thing is they either want to shove me in a clinic with a load of teenage anorexics or get me to stop the therapy I'm already in for some therapy that specialists in eating disorders. None of these are a necessary option because as soon as I get bad enough to think I need some intervention, I suddenly pick up again.
